By Jodi Martinez
I remember the first Mother's Day as a bereaved mom of Daniel, born still, and Jojo, miscarried five months later. I had been anticipating what would be a very difficult day for me. My husband being an airline pilot was away and I was home alone. I decided that I would spend the weekend with my mom so it wouldn't be so lonely. The Friday before, I packed a bag and headed to my mom's house. On my way, I realized I had forgotten something so I headed back home. When I arrived I found a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates at my front door. I opened the card and it read, "Happy Mother's Day! Love, Daniel and Daddy." I felt overwhelmed with emotion and tears ran down my face. I felt such a presence of the little souls we had lost. I was completely honored and grateful that my husband acknowledged me on Mother's Day.
It is very important to remember that even though we have lost a child (or children, as in my case) we are still mothers and fathers. My husband and I continue to honor each other on Mother's and Father's Day by lighting a candle in remembrance of three children that we have lost. (We lost another child, Joseph, in 2009.)
In feel we are parents as soon as a baby is conceived. We take care of our children as soon as we know that we are pregnant. I highly recommend remembering your significant other on these special days. It is their day. No one should every doubt it or question it. I feel our little angels are Heaven and they are with us in spirit each and every day. Losing a child doesn't make keep us from being mothers or fathers.
This Mother's Day I honored my three little angels in heaven - Daniel, Jojo, and Joseph - as well as my living child, my miracle, Zachary who was born in 2010. I am often asked, "You only have one child?" And I respond "No, I am a mother of 4. I am a mother of 3 heavenly angels and 1 child here on earth".
3 comments:
Thanks for this. This is my 2nd Mothers Day but because it's my first one with a living child, people seem to want to refer to it as my first Mothers Day. Kind of stings.
Thanks!! My husband and I lost ours in Feb. of this year. Thanks again.
Shana- I completely can relate. Last year Mothers Day I was expecting so my MIL/FIL/DH treated me as it was Mothers Day as they were the only ones who knew we were pregnant. However, I became a mother in 2009 when I was expecting our 1st child. While this is our first child birthed he is our 2nd.
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